I've actually found something even more ridiculous than The Enemy...

...they plan to make a musical of Jade Goody's life. What's more, they even hope to make a reality TV series around the search for the star. Sod the people's Joseph or the people's Maria: this would truly be the people's reality TV star. The full story is available here on the BBC website.

Isn't this just about the most incredibly, fantastically unbelievable thing since, well, The Enemy's claims about the recession? The whole idea strikes me as stupid on so many levels that (despite the fact I can't believe the fact I'm even bothering to blog about this) I actually feel compelled to order a few of them in list format.

1) The whole issue of the media coverage surrounding Jade's death has already been covered to hell and back by commentators ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime, to point that, as Brooker noted on Newswipe, it's become a self-sustaining entity. But if this isn't a step too far, then we may as well go the whole hog and canonise Saint Jade. Maybe we could announce a new bank holiday in her honour? After all, I'm sure it's what she would have wanted, isn't it?

2) "It was her dream as a child to be in a musical" is not an adequate reason for making a musical of an ordinary person's life. Using somebody's "favourite songs" is also a highly doubtful way of composing a musical; it will basically suck, as it will have no cohesion. That is the problem with using pre-existing songs. Even Mamma Mia! was, with the best will (and the most love for it) in the world, was less of a convincing plot and more of an excuse to string together as many Abba songs as possible within the space of 100 minutes. It was my childhood dream to be in a musical, too; I won't settle for anyone less than Lloyd-Webber to write mine, either.

3)What is this sudden obsession with letting the public choose the stars of West End shows? Getting people into the theatres? Well, I'm sure that The Sound of Music and Joseph had been doing just fine for years before the BBC snaffled them up, and News of the World readers will doubtless adore anything that Princess Jade's name is put to, regardless. The general public know next to nothing about casting for musicals: fact. Hell, I've loved musicals since I was a kid (it's a guilty secret which I blame upon my parents constantly playing soundtracks in the car when I was too young to protest, thus brainwashing me) and I'd have no clue where to even start. People demand so much control over broadcast output these days that I'm amazed they haven't just handed over the cameras to us and let us run riot.

I predict a backlash. Eventually.